work-allergy

Today I had my first team meeting, it was okay, short and quick. Basically the manager just asked about everybody’s progress. So nothing much to talk about. She said, she trusts us as adults, and expects us to finish whatever given to us. Or maybe there is a hidden message behind it. “I expect you to finish your work, or do something work-related instead of blogging or visiting thesuperficial.com”.

Hehehehe.. that part i just make it up :D :D :D
Well, it’s practically lunch hour so I have free time now :D

Anyway, tomorrow will have a birthday party at home. Maybe we’ll be having strawberry yogurt cake. Sounds yummy-licous.

The gas price increased again, and just wait till other products price increase as well. This only means one thing, learn to spend within a budget (eekk)

Lately I’ve had anxiety attacks at work. Does it mean I’m allergic to this job? You think so? That’s what I thought too!!!

monday's suck

monday is boring. I never really liked monday. In fact monday is the worst day of the week. Nothing much is going on. Saturday was spent relaxing around the house and sunday went to a wedding, and afterwards to the mall to find a birthday gift.

Neynarre is back in kk town. Maybe I'll have a mini reunion wif her, but dont have her cell/home number. i wonder if it's ok to call her dad (her dad works in ums).

Oh, terrible news about a boy hitting his brother till dead. TV influence? Hmm. That's why it's recommended children under 2 years should watch no tv at all.

And I love my niece. She's the cutest little pie. I've taught her few things, like saying mamaji (not babuji k!), hello (or teletubbies ee-oo) and yes and no. I can totally be a nanny cause i love babies (not the irritating 5 yrs old!!!)

finally, congrats to lana for her pre-wedding day:) i'm happy for you..

Coffee and ...

I’m at the office right now. Just came back from the pantry making my fix, yes, I need my caffeine! Sha, before u start preaching,stop! I know I should’ve stopped drinking so much coffee. A memory just came to me. When I was tiny (primary school), I didn’t like tea or coffee. The only drinks served in our house were nespray and milo. So my coffee obsession must’ve started in high school. And I remembered the person who introduced me to coffee or at that time, Nescafe ping(iced). It was mayam. Nescafe iced was the usual breakfast beverage for her. She was the person who introduced me to the world of coffee. BTW, there is a world for coffee, the smell, the taste and the comfort and energy it brought. And with that I’m blaming you for my coffee addiction mayam. No, I don’t. I love you lotssss and I have missed you.

I need 8 hours of sleep every night, and even with that, I can’t even open my eyes at 6 in the morning. My bedtime is the same as my 1 and a half year old niece. Well, who am I kidding. I’ve always loved sleeping J

I started re-reading she’s come undone last night.

That’s all fox. Nothing’s much is going on. Oh and do you know maya Karin is invited to be the hostess for red carpet for academy awards?

Check your contact lens solution

Scary news:-
Corneal infection
Please stop using renu multipurpose solutions, clean ur lenses thoroughly and don't sleep with ur contacts on.

It's been days after arwah maryam's passing. Everyday I look at her pictures and imagining that she's still alive. I'd imagine what she'd say to me after I failed my shell's interview. My heart is filled with guilt and sadness and anger and all sort of emotions. But thinking of her, her smile, her grace, her joy and her laugh, just another reason to be alive. I misschhh you maryam.

Honestly it's so much easier to talk about the facts of her accident than to talk about the effects of hear passing. But she'd want me to get on with my life, and live it to the fullest, and find out my passion and work like hell to get it. Yeah, I wish I have ur determination, mayam.

I've had an interview with Shell last Friday. I guess I'm not their "IT" girl since I've got a red card for my interview. It's fine. All the ramblings about National park, even as i said it i didnt believe it. What the hell is national park preventing natural disaster??? That's just another bull coming out of my mouth. Having had interview with Shell and after answering non-academic questions make me question my ability and my achievements.

All i want is to have a house of my own, and throw fab-party. I went to this gift shop and saw cute red candleplace(for votive candles), and little disco light (perfect for guest gift). I can imagine how's the room, with red lighting, and little silver disco light on the plate (underneath is a napkin of course). Maybe the appetizer will be a shrimp or little ayamas filo. Tiramisu maybe will be the desert, with chocolate topping. Every cuisine will be beautifully decorated with garnishes which take 5 hours to prepare. Oh, how fun!!

oh. and did i mention my D70 is broken. I have to send it to Nikon Service Center, and hopefully get it back before my trip to KL. I cant wait to see everybody !!!!

signin off~~

USM student killed in road accident.

USM student killed in road accident

BY SIOW YUEN CHING

PENANG: He was due to join other university heads at a meeting with their new “boss” in the Higher Education Ministry.

However, just as he touched down at the KL International Airport, Universiti Malaysia Sabah vice-chancellor Prof Datuk Mohd Noh Dalimin received a shocking message that forced him to fly to Penang.

His 24-year-old daughter, Maryam (pic), an architecture student at the Universiti Sains Malaysia, has been killed in a road accident at the campus.

Cancelling his meeting with Datuk Mustapa Mohamad, he ended up at the Penang Hospital mortuary to claim her body. Her remains were taken to Kam-pung Sungai Ramal Dalam in Kajang, Selangor, for burial.

Maryam died at about 5.20pm on Saturday after her motorcycle crashed into a road divider. She suffered head injuries.

Prof Mohd Noh, who was too distraught to speak to the media, had taken a flight from Kota Kinabalu the same day to join his colleagues in the Federal capital for a meeting with the newly appointed Higher Education Minister.

USM deputy vice-chancellor (student affairs and development) Assoc Prof Datuk Jamaludin Mohaiadin said Mar-yam was on her way to the Housing, Building and Planning School from her hostel when the accident occurred.

Edisi Utara: 'Saya tak sempat habis belajar'

Edisi Utara: 'Saya tak sempat habis belajar'

Oleh Rudy Syareme Sheriffudin
am@hmetro.com.my

GEORGETOWN: “Saya mungkin tidak sempat habiskan study (pengajian),” begitulah luahan terakhir Allahyarham Maryam Mohd Noh, 24, sebelum meninggal dunia selepas terbabit dalam kemalangan jalan raya, kelmarin.

Mangsa pelajar tahun akhir Ijazah Sarjana Muda jurusan Seni Bina, Universiti Sains Malaysia (USM) mengungkapkan kata-kata itu kepada rakan sekuliahnya, Ayuni Saad, 26, minggu lalu.

Ayuni berkata, arwah sebenarnya tidak menunjukkan sebarang perubahan sebelum ini tetapi sejak kebelakangan, dia terlalu rajin menyiapkan segala tugasan dengan penuh bersemangat dan ceria.

Menurutnya, arwah juga seorang yang bersikap ‘happy go lucky’ dan suka bergurau malah mereka berlima sahaja pelajar perempuan Melayu yang mengikuti kelas seni bina di USM.

Katanya, Allahyarham mempunyai sifat yang disenangi semua rakan sekuliah malah dia juga tidak menunjukkan perubahan pelik kerana sentiasa ceria pada setiap hari.

“Kehilangan arwah cukup dirasai kerana dulu kami berlima kini tinggal berempat dan kata-kata tidak sempat menghabiskan pengajian pada minggu lalu amat mengejutkan kerana akhirnya menjadi kenyataan.

“Sebagai kawan rapat, saya berdoa agar arwah ditempatkan dalam golongan orang yang beriman dan menghalalkan segala makan dan minum selama ini,” katanya ketika dihubungi menerusi telefon bimbit, semalam.

Dalam kejadian itu, Maryam yang juga anak kepada Naib Canselor Universiti Malaysia Sabah (UMS), Profesor Datuk Dr Mohd Noh Dalimin maut selepas motosikal yang ditunggangi terbabas lalu melanggar pembahagi jalan.

Mangsa meninggal dunia di tempat kejadian akibat kecederaan teruk di kepala dan patah tangan kiri dalam kejadian kira-kira jam 5.15 petang di dalam kampus USM.

Semalam, 40 rakan kuliah arwah bersama-sama berlepas ke Kajang, Selangor dari USM kira-kira jam 9.30 pagi untuk menghadiri pengebumian Allahyarham.

Rakan arwah, Rahina Jopri, 26, berkata kehilangan Maryam tidak dapat dicari ganti kerana mempunyai sikap bertimbang rasa dan mudah mesra dengan semua rakan sekuliah baik lelaki dan perempuan.

Menurutnya, kenangan makan dan minum bersama malah tidur bersama-sama dalam studio tetap menjadi kenangan abadi hingga akhir hayatnya sejak mengenali arwah kira-kira lebih setahun lalu.

Katanya, hubungannya dengan arwah amat rapat dan Allahyarham Maryam suka membantu rakan lain membuat tugasan tugasan bersama-sama yang menjadi noktah akhir dengannya.

“Kehilangan Allahyarham cukup dirasai kerana kami memang rapat hingga tidak ada orang lain boleh memisahkan dan dia (arwah) juga seorang yang baik dan kelakar,” katanya.

Jenazah arwah selamat dikembumikan di tanah perkuburan Islam di Kajang, Selangor kira-kira jam 1 tengah hari selepas solat Zuhur dengan dihadiri sahabat handai, kedua ibu bapa arwah, Profesor Datuk Dr Mohd Noh Dalimin dan isteri, Profesor Datin Dr Mariati Mohamad.

©The New Straits Times Press (M) Berhad

Memory of maryam....

I cannot count how many blogs I’ve got since the blog phenomenon. I started one when I was in the middle of depression and deleted it when I’ve felt better because reading one entry saying how I cried endlessly when the printers in library weren’t working. And I haven’t written much since the last 6 months.

But writing can be fun. Pouring your heart out, complaining about people, a chance to be narcissistic, who wouldn’t want that? So here I am. I will try to mantain this blog and make it 'alive' until the end of the year. Let’s see how it turns out.

Last Saturday, I received a SMS from my friend, the sms said, “Assalamualaikum, Maryam passed away ptg tadi. Xcident. –noe”. My heart literally stopped for few seconds. All emotions just came to me. And then I was struck with disbelief. Is this real? Is this a dream? Please let me wake up and see her face again…

It’s been 5 days since she’s gone. I’m still in utter shock. I’m not really sad or been crying badly. Big part of me still can’t believe that she’s really not here. I won’t be seeing her, ever again. I won’t be hearing her voice. I won’t be hearing her, calling me uj**z. I won’t be hugging her and chatting wif her complaining about life. I won’t feel envy because she’s so determined and ambitious that totally makes me intimidated. I haven’t grieved for her, because if I do, that means she’s really gone. Her memories will fade away over time.

OK. Before I go on… Let’s just not talk about fate. How God loves her more than we do. How it’s her time, no matter how small/big the accident, she’s still be dead because it’s her time. I’m not questioning or saying these are not true. It’s just now I realized how those words never helpful to people who are grieving. Because all we want are ears and shoulder to lean on during this difficult time.

Last night, I dreamt about her. She was involved in a car accident. She was put in the trunk of a car, the driver ran away and the car crashed. As any terrible car crash, she didn’t survive.

My mind kept finding the reasons behind the terrible crash. I guess this is called intellectualization, finding explanations to justify the situation. How the motorcycle was ridden too fast and then it lost control, how something was on the road and she was trying to avoid it, or maybe she didn’t even wear a helmet/loose helmet that was how she got a serious head injury. These reasons protecting me from the truth, that she’s not alive. She’s dead.

The last time I saw her was during my sister’s wedding. We didn’t’ talk much. Just exchanged our hellos and some small talk. Can’t believe it would be my last time.

We weren’t really close when I was in the States but we did keep in touch and sometimes chat usually on msn. We would talk about of course career stuff, friendship and relationship. I have always felt lost and second-guessing my career/academic choice. When we talked about this, she said she was lucky to have always known what she wanted to do. She wanted to be an architect. I always thought she’s one of the people who will be successful in her life. She has the passion and determination.

Everytime I look at her friendster, I always ask myself, is this true that she’s not here anymore. And the last day she checked her friendster was her last day. And that will never change. And it could never be 24 hrs.

She was buried in Kajang. For now, I just pray for her that she’ll be in peace; her family will be in peace.

AL-Fatihah…