Macho Movies Can You Tell The Difference? by: Kathy Shaskan | |
The Chick Flick: The main relationship is between a man and woman | The Macho Movie: The main relationship is between a man and his sworn enemy (or sometimes his sub-machine gun and/or sports car). |
There are lots of close-ups so you can see every emotion on the character’s face. | There are lots of long shots so you can see every bit of blood, bone and grey matter that explodes from the character’s face. |
The villains are people you see everyday, like cheating husbands and nasty bosses. | The villians are people you’ll probably never see in a lifetime, like heads of cocaine cartels and man-eating aliens. |
| The villain’s worst act is something awful like sleeping with her best friend’spouse. | The villain’s worst act is something awful like stealing a nuclear weapon. |
A chick flick always includes child actors so they can add humanity and warmth to the story. | A macho movie includes child actors so they can be kidnapped and add suspense to the story. |
The characters learn to respect one another through long talks and thoughful actions. | The characters learn to respect one another by beating each other up. |
If someone gets a disease, it's inevitably cancer or heart failure. | If someone gets a disease, it's inevitably a rare form of radiation poisoning or an exotic parasitic infection picked up in space. |
There will be at least one emotional death | There will be at least 20 unemotional deaths |
There will be at least one grunting, gooey depiction of childbirth. | There will be at least one grunting, gooey scene of hand-to-hand combat. |
The chick flick will feature at least one scene where the lead character interacts with her mother. | The macho movie will feature at least one scene where the lead character interacts with a digital readout counting down to zero. |
The climactic scene involves an explosion of passion. | The climactic scene involves an explosion of a car, bridge or other man-made structure. |
A happy ending is when the lead character finds love. | A happy ending is when the lead character finds the villain and blows him to smithereens. |
Memorable Quotes from Chick Flick..... ( lines that's going to make your heart melt :D )
The Notebook....
"Young Noah: My Dearest Allie. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you. Noah "
Chasing Amy....
"Holden: I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't, I can't look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship - no pun intended - but I had to say it, because I've never felt this way before, and I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know... I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. All I ask, please, is that you just, you just not dismiss that - and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which - while I do appreciate it - I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of. "
When Harry Met Sally....
"Harry Burns: I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. "
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