men vs women ...

I found this from friendster bulletin board. Funny....

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly,the man realized that the next day,he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a
piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would
find it.The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go andsee why his wife
hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper
said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An
earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to
concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws"

WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to
purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a
television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I
asked."No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with
me, and I figured this was the evil thing I could do to him legally."


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to women. I'll never understand how you
can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by
the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because
we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and
asked, "What?"

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and
so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to
explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me
stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you
get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The
husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do
it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife
replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the
man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show
me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him
at the top of several pages, that it indeed says ..........."HEBREWS"