random post

One week had passed, I don't know where do I stand... Am I in denial or do I couldn't care less about it? Can people be denial about being in denial? What I know is, changes happen, you can't stop just because things don't happen as you want it to be. I can't be greedy and have it all right? I hope I won't have to go through stage 4, but it's there written in the rulebook. Can I get express boarding to the end of this?

off-day

I'm on leave today... Gonna go watch "He's not that into you" at gsc, go drink expensive coffee and get distracted for the whole day. It's almost 1pm, and I'm still on my bed... Talk about wallowing big time!

I'm gonna get a hair makeover this weekend... Due to recent event, I'm gonna go for a funkier highlight, red perhaps? Hair salon is like the replacement for an hour sitting in a shrink's office, it's thereauputic and relaxing at the same time...

Communication is the key to a good relationship. Once it's gone, all hell break loose. So, knowing what you expect from another person is as important as waiting for it happen. I mean, how would you get something that you want, if you're not gonna ask for it? When you don't ask questions, how do you get the answers? When you don't expect anything, you've got no point for waiting....

p/s my birthday is in a week time.... I already ask what I want....

cyber-catharsis

Ever since my training, I hadn't been sleeping well. Well, I sort of drifted early (as early as 10pm), but most nights I would be haunted by vivid dreams, and woken up around 4am in the morning by my dreams... Of course most of time I won't be able to go back to sleep until 6ish in the morning.

Last night, I'd slept early and had the weirdest dream ever (bukan xxx dream tau!). I was in a cafe lining up to buy food, and I surprisingly bumped into someone (who I used to pour my heart out shamelessly.. hehehee) - It's kinda shocking lah juga, since usually when I dreamt of that person, that's when I am in the most troublesome mind ever. It's like my subconscious was taking me where I wanna be - seeking for answer. Then terkejut bangun from sleep at 4 am knowing something had changed. It's been awhile that I get in touch with my instinct/gut-feeling, knowing that I had this dream, I knew something had changed/or will change. And I was right....

But I've got no answers. So temporarily, I'm just gonna bury my head in mountains of paperworks and spend lotttttss of time on bed.

Nothing better than a comfort of ben & jerry's ..

away again

I am away from home for two weeks... I'm kinda glad this is happening at the right time. I guess I'm one of those people who got itchy staying at one place for too long. Somehow being at different places at different time makes you like that... It's such a fun thing to explore different cities where nobody really knows you. You could never bother sitting alone at a coffee shop alone or watching movies by yourselves. Erk, I don't know whether that was sad or it just says that you're comfortable being alone (not lonely yea). Also, where else can you have some vacation fling kan? Because when you're actually gonna be at one place for a short period of time, and somebody actually asked for your number and you actually give it, I think that only means one thing: vacation-fling! Of course what happened when you're away stays there... on this topic, i'm not gonna elaborate more.. hehehehehe...

I'm bringing Twilight, New Moon for my trip. Since our hotel doesn't have entertainment beside star movies, I can always turn to my book for pleasure. I also toss in Emotional Intelligence book, this one so that I can deal with whatever people behavior out there, as well as for my own personal drama.

In less than month, I'll be adding a +1 to my age, but.... I think I make a lousy adult. I still can't keep up with the pay-the-bills at at the end of every month, I still can't handle office politics, I still can't be as assertive as I want to be at this age, I triple think whatever I want to say in a meeting (so that I won't look stupid) and I still don't know if I can pass for handling personal issues of my own. Heck, I mean I don't even know what emotional maturity means...

Oklah... it's almost end of my training ....

will be writing soon...